I have had 5. However, it never got brought to our immediate attention that interviews aren't the end-all be-all of the job train. Or the only way in which one's self esteem and confidence can be built or dashed. I have applied and NOT received interviews (what were they thinking!?) for 18 positions in the past year.
Except for a few bouts with disorganization and procrastination, elementary school was easy. High school was even easier. When college came around, and I got a taste of freedom, I learned nothing from my academic classes and everything from the life lessons associated with the consequences of slacking off. When I began to make real goals, it was challenging. . .but easy.
Almost every job I've had before now has come to me without too much hard work or that go-getter attitude. I have been lucky enough to have connections which, while they did not GET me the job, certainly helped in getting me noticed in the first place. All I had to do was show up and be awesome. Which I am.
And yet, I keep forgetting that. If I have to hear, "-Insert glowing praise here- BUT we decided to go with another candidate because -insert insider knowledge reason here-" I am going to curl up into a ball and become a fossil so that, one day, millions of years from now, a happy-go-lucky scientist can happen upon me and I can finally be worth something to somebody.
Here is where those people in my life who truly love me pipe up, "Oh Beth, you are worth the world to us." I know. And that means the world to me. It still doesn't get me a job.
This area is so weird. There are teachers who I subbed for last year who were not invited back due to budget restraints. Now, these people are out there looking for jobs, too! I'm on the same playing field as them and they've got the advantage because they've had their own classroom. Everywhere I go, I'm stuck in some kind of strange limbo between the experienced elementary school teachers and the pre-schools who claim they can't afford me because I'm overqualified.
Nobody wants me. I'm too little or too much. Good but not good enough. Each "Sorry, but. . ." phone call gets harder and harder. I am running out of steam. I have my faith to keep reminding me that, if I continue to do my part, the way will be shown to me and I will receive the position I am supposed to have. Something about this experience is supposed to be teaching me something. And if there's anything I've learned about teaching throughout my career (or lack thereof) it's that learning is the greater portion.
I am learning quite emphatically that I have had it way too easy for way too long.
Ok. Lesson learned. Can I have a job now?
Approach 1: Beth, you are awesome. It's all in God's hands and in His timing.
ReplyDeleteApproach 2: What a bunch of mentally deficient, socially stunted, ignoramouses to have a phenomenal, driven, intelligent, personable, and pretty much perfect candidate in front of them and overlook them. They will regret that decision!
Approach 3: Times really are tough in the employment world, especially in education. Don't let it get you down. It's not personal, even though it must start to feel like it.
Approach 4: no matter what happens, I think you're pretty darn amazing, I love ya, and I'm here for ya if I can do anything.
- ok, I know in the grand scheme of things those are all just words and won't help the situation at all, but all are still true. Pick which version you'd like to hear most at the time, and re-read as necessary. Good luck!