Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

I miss my job at Sharp's.  I miss the consistency of a schedule.  I miss the people and the silly fun we had, especially after closing.  Turning every chore into a game.  Freezing people's keys in blocks of ice.  Making instructional videos on how to mop a floor or properly cut an onion; complete with chef who wants to be left alone, annoying host lady who won't shut up and an already finished onion prepared and ready to show.

I miss the regularity of customers I learned to recognize over 4 years.  I miss greeting them by name and ringing up their order before they even approached the counter.  I miss that 6th sense of knowing exactly what people wanted in drive-thru, even if they could never quite vocalize it correctly.

I miss a steady paycheck.  I even miss the times I got all the way to the bank before realizing Bud or John didn't sign it.  I miss knowing every conceivable in and out of a business.  I miss training newbs, learning them up in the ways of the burger ranch.  I miss hearkening back to my first few weeks and using that experience to remind myself how difficult and scary it was so I could make new employees feel more at ease.

I miss Sundays alone, sliding my glasses down to the end of my nose as I added up the profits of the week and recorded them with precision in "the book," putting the ice cream machine back together and pretending like I was building some futuristic weapon that would change the world and singing sad country songs about missing dogs and forgiving wayward sons at the top of my lungs.

I miss bad jokes and word games to pass the time on those slow nights.  I miss being useful.  Being counted upon.  I miss the camaraderie when things just plain sucked.  I may even miss screaming my entire way home when customers were mean.  I miss the confidence, the independence and the accomplishment I felt with every task.  That knowing smile or a "Good Job!" stamp on my bonus.  I miss being recognized for my hard work.

I miss the parking lot after close, whether it was throwing empty bottles over the roof into the garbage can or sharing our deepest thoughts about the world.  I miss impromptu fashion shows with the Lost & Found drawer.

I miss giving people rides home and trying to fit bicycles into the trunk of my Ford Escort.  I miss the feeling of that shower after getting home, washing off the smell of grease or success or whatever it was.  I miss watching new kids try to scoop fries as the bag keeps sliding off the handle - smiling to myself that one day. . .oh, one day, they'll get it.  I miss doing inventory, ordering the produce, signing off on shipments, stacking the boxes of patties, making 3 lbs of bacon at 7am, filling the shake flavors, icing the salad bar, washing the windows, stocking the mini-fridge, and making bank runs with $2000 cash in my pocket.  Especially when I got to take someone along and we could act paranoid as if the guy behind us was after that money and we had to make it through all the green lights before he caught up to us.

I miss all of it.  Not because it was anything special but because it was mine.  It was my job.  And I was amazing at it.