Sorry Pat, love is not a battlefield

385 pages into The Host and only 3 "chagrins".  Not bad, Stephenie Meyer.  Not too shabby.  I know the letters of the alphabet that make up this woman's name are a true bane to readers across the universe.  We're all gagging as witnesses of the birth of a new reading category entitled, "Teen Paranormal Romance."  I'm not kidding.  Of course, we can't blame Meyer for her success.  We can not fault her for having a dream.  Then again, it is another animal to write that dream down and sell it.  So. . .maybe we can lay the complaint at her feet.

I'll admit, for me, Twilight may just be one of those things people call a guilty pleasure.  I believe, as a new writer, Meyer exemplified some real creativity and a quick knack for storytelling.  Unfortunately, it was very hit and miss.  Not a good sign when the protagonist is as flat as cardboard and completely unlikeable.  Unless they are supposed to be unlikeable.  The latter being a case I've yet to come across in my literary adventures.  Even if a protagonist is seemingly disagreeable, there is always something appealing, something charming that reels you in.  You're either able to love-to-hate or you fall in love with the eccentricities and general standoffishness.  Bella was not written this way.  I'm actually quite certain she was barely written at all.

To this day, since reading the entire Twilight "saga" (gag) I still can't decipher what it was about Bella that had two men vying for her love and attention.  She had absolutely no redeemable qualities until, perhaps, the very last book and even then, it was too little, too late.  I may understand Jacob's interest.  Attractive young boy.  Spending a lot of time with attractive young girl.  As if that's not enough for a recipe for young love, they are in an environment where I can only be certain one must get tired of seeing the same faces every day.  Bella is fresh meat.  In some cases, literally.

Throughout the series, I began to find intrigue and wonder at everyone else.  Everyone other than our main characters.  The origin stories of each of the Cullens.  The legend of the Quileute shapeshifters and the disturbing idea of imprinting.  Even the useless and everyday banter of the human kids at school.  Poor Mike.  Poor, poor Mike.  As a flesh-and-blood, regular old boring human, he didn't have a chance with our magnet for danger, Bella Swan.  Of course, if killing's what you're into, Bella, the actor who played Mike murdered a guy with a ride-on lawnmower on Bones last night.

Maybe it's because I'm not a lonely love-starved teen, lying in bed wishing for my first real kiss, that these books don't genuinely speak to me.  I found Bella and Edward's 5 seconds of falling-in-love completely devoid of reality.  And I know, I know.  A series about vampires and werewolves. . .what's the need for an emphasis on reality?  Oh I don't know.  Because vampires and werewolves aren't real but love IS?  Not something to muck around with, Meyer.

There are now real essays and graduate theses on why Edward Cullen is an abusive boyfriend.  There are internet message boards and lunch room tables across the world where people are discussing how imprinting is really pedophilia and child grooming.  These are some serious issues raised in your lovely little book about true love, Meyer.  And it would have been a thousand times more interesting to read if these issues hadn't been ignored but embraced as true problems and dealt with accordingly.

Instead, we've got an entire generation of young girls clamoring to find a kind of love that does not exist or, at the very least, should not.  Yes, yes, Edward was able to relinquish some control in the end and learn respect and trust for his girlfriend, that's all rainbows and sherbet.  But what does that teach?  All this accomplishes is to encourage a little girl to stay in a controlling relationship believing that, at any moment, he just might change for her.  That she'll ever be enough for a serious psychological wound to just up and heal.

That is much too dangerous ground.  For anyone, let alone an impressionable adolescent whose idea of love is entirely shaped by culture and media.  Yes, I'm talking to you, too, "16 and Pregnant" and "Secrets of the American Teenager."  We now live in a world where even the negative consequences of making the wrong choice are glorified.

End of line for rant.

The Host is quite good.  In fact, most of the time, I forget I'm reading something written by Stephenie Meyer.  Until I hit a chagrin.  Or until last night when the story became about 2 men vying for the love and attention of our young female protagonist.  I suppose I should give Meyer a little credit.  After all, this time, the girl is the creature and the boys are plain, boring humans.