...continued from previous post...
. . . . . . . . . . .I have no option than to continue my trek home. I'm moving dangerously close to speeding as I am beyond comfort. My only need is to get home, run around the yard screaming, "Get it off! Get it off! Get it ooooffff!!!" I must have looked somewhat cartoonish as my face scrunched up in what could only be construed as "ultimate pig face." I'm not so lily-livered, however, that I might, here and now, die of terror and require a closed clasket funeral for the sake of the guests.
I begin to wonder what people might say about me. How many would show up? What would I be dressed in? I really hope it's not that stupid denim dress that always rides up an—OH HOLY CRAP, HE'S RIGHT THERE!!!!
I am abruptly dragged back to the reality in a severely halting manner. The little guy has climbed. . .ugh. . .meandered in that eerie and unsettling way that they do. . .down the left side of the steering wheel. That's where my hands are. He's a quick one, that rascal, he is!
Here is where I left the Earth and became something altogether much stranger and different. I somehow mustered the audacity to bring my left hand away from where it was holding on, white-knuckled to the wheel, as far away from the left side as is possible without crashing and burning. I must guide this malignant brute to the floor where I can safely squish him.
Haha! Hahahahaha! I did it. I actually did it.
I thought I had administered enough weight to smack him to the floor. But. . .crap. Where is he? Where IS he!?!?!?!?! My eyes swiftly scan. I am hopeful. Fearful, as the time ticks by. Red light. Ok, ok, stay red. Stay red for awhile as I've got some hunting to do. Roving, roving, rov—THERE HE IS! He's dangling from his fat, ugly rump, swinging and obviously laughing at me. I can hear his high-pitched chittering and see him rubbing his little spider feet together.
I swat again! I feel the soft yet disconcerting body graze my fingers. I haven't shuddered like that since dorm life.
He's DOWN!
STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! And PIVOT!
He has fallen. I am solemn.
The little devil has become a permanent jewel of victory in battle on my driver's side carpet. One with the fibers but remembered always for having way too many legs. He is there as a symbol. To the others. A warning, if you will.
I had been full of great fear during this trial. But it is to those with the greatest fear and the most to lose who are able to achieve success by never backing down. They are the ever watchful ones, th—alright, so I killed one of God's most helpful creatures. But I swear, he was going to eat me.
The End.
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